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Team Sassy spills their worst Bumble date disasters in Hong Kong. From awkward encounters to downright disrespect, they’ll make single life seem like the best option yet…
The ever-reliable Bumble continues to be Team Sassy’s preferred dating app, striking a balance between the sleaziness associated with Tinder and the limited daily matches offered by Coffee Meets Bagel. While favoured for its women-first approach, anti-harassment measures and reputation as a platform geared more towards relationships than hookups, Bumble nonetheless has been the catalyst to some utterly disastrous dates. While dating apps can potentially foster genuine connection, our most epic dating fails serve as valuable reminders (and cautionary tales!) that this is best-case scenario. Prepare to cringe, laugh and gain a newfound appreciation for the joys of flying solo.
Read More: The Truth About Dating Apps In Hong Kong
When Ghosting Leads To A Good Night Out
After a week of witty banter and what seemed like a sweet, fun connection, I agreed to meet him at a dive bar he deemed to be “the perfect spot” — a 45-minute trek for me, while just around the corner from his place. Tucked away on an abandoned street, it seemed a bit sketchy. Still, I was curious. We messaged while I was in the taxi, and he told me he was getting ready. Expecting a warm welcome on arrival, I sent a quick message: “I’m here.” Ten minutes passed with no reply.
I messaged to see if he was on his way, to which he responded: “No lol, I’m in Germany. I’m just messing with you. I’ve been in Germany this whole time.” He seemed to be a prankster, so I figured it was a joke until I realised he’d blocked me. We’d moved from Bumble to Snapchat, chatting every day for a week (he seemed sweet and funny). I stood outside that dive bar for 45 minutes, waiting for someone who never had any intention of showing up.
Feeling completely duped, I ended up going into the club and thankfully bumped into friends there. After telling them of my Bumble non-starter, they kept the vodka flowing freely, and I ended up having an unexpectedly great time. Sometimes the best nights come not from the dates that happen — but from the ones that don’t.
Read More: Gong Nui Or Bare Minimum? Decoding Local Dating Expectations
Too Much, Too Soon
The guy seemed down-to-earth and had playful chat. He lived in a cool neighbourhood and asked, “You want to come through? I know a restaurant that turns into a bar. We can meet there.” He was very flirty — but never over the top — just the kind of vibe that felt promising.
While on the MTR on the way to meet him, we continued to message each other, and the conversation flowed easily when he suddenly he hit me with, “Btw… How’s your head game? How would you rate it out of 10?” I blinked. “What do you mean?” He replied, “I think you know what I mean,” followed by the eggplant emoji.
I felt a jolt of discomfort. I messaged, “Nevermind then,” to which he replied with a string of question marks. That was it for me. I disengaged completely. I got off the train immediately and straight onto another one headed back in the opposite direction, leaving the conversation — and him — behind.
What started as flirtatious fun quickly spiralled into awkward territory, reminding me just how easily the line between charming and creepy can blur in the realm of online dating.
Read More: Hong Kong Dating Stories: Online Dating
Dodging a Dating Bullet
I matched with someone on Bumble who looked familiar, though he was adamant that he grew up overseas and only moved to Hong Kong a few weeks ago. I happened to be out with friends one night when one of the girls in the group (who I met that night) showed us photos of her new flat, which she had just moved into with her boyfriend and their cat. Sure enough, one of the photos was of the guy I had matched with, in fact, it was the very image he’d used on his Bumble profile — holding the same cat.
Curious to find out more, I asked a mutual friend if they had an open arrangement, and she explained they had moved to Hong Kong from the UK together, and were in a serious, committed relationship and had even discussed marriage. She said he was extremely protective and devoted to her. You can imagine this friend’s surprise when I showed her his Bumble profile to confirm it was definitely him — it was, of course. It was heartbreaking as the girl seemed like a lovely person.
While she’ll never know it was me who brought the truth to light, our mutual friend ended up telling her. They eventually broke up, and the girl went on to discover that her boyfriend had another phone (not for work, but rather multiple dating apps!) and was chatting to several women at once. Sometimes the worst dating stories are more about the tangled lives and broken trust behind the scenes. I’m pleased to say though, that I saw her again at a bar with her new man, looking refreshed and happy.
Read More: What It’s Really Like Being In An Open Relationship
Major Red Flag
This story doesn’t exactly make me look good. A guy I matched with invited me out with a group of his friends, and somehow I ended up vibing more with one of them. It was obvious enough that despite feeling weird about it, he ended up giving his mate my number. WhatsApp messages from an unknown number started flooding in.
The messages started off harmlessly, but turned creepy quickly, reading like bad smut. “I remember your body against mine. Do you remember me kissing your neck and the sound you made? I couldn’t hear because of the music, but I could feel you. I’ve got my own hotel room — we can recreate the night — I’ll play the same song.”
Serious warning bells went off, so I blocked him on WhatsApp. I then received messages via text, in which he described himself, how we met and said there must have been a miscommunication, and I must have blocked him by accident. When I didn’t respond to that, he flipped, and I started receiving aggressive texts from two other numbers, “You think you can do better than me? I was being so sweet with you. You led me on.”
This went on for a whole month, even though I was only in town for another fortnight. The final ominous warning: “If I see you, we’re going to deal with this.” What started as a fun night out spiralled into a nightmare of unwanted messages and threats, proof that first impressions are definitely not always as they seem.
Read More: Hong Kong Dating Stories: Long-Distance Relationships
Savage One Liner
I wanted our date to be a quick coffee, in and out, nothing complicated. But 30 minutes before we meet, he texted, “Do you just want to be FWB?” Was he serious? I said, “No, thank you, I’m not looking for that.” Then, 15 minutes later, another last-ditch attempt to get physical. “Would you like to come to my place? I have a nice Nespresso machine.” As hard as it was to turn down such a wildly irresistible offer, I suggested sticking with our original plan to meet at a cafe.
In person, he looked normal enough, French, not overly sexual, one might say respectful even. We made standard small talk, like what we like to do on the weekend. As he showed me photos on his phone, it started buzzing with messages from someone named Melody, flooded with a dozen heart emojis. His reaction? Embarrassed. He grabbed the phone back and nervously asked if I minded. It was our first date—I didn’t.
Half an hour into the coffee date, he asks, “Can I kiss you?” I said no. I figured that would be the end of that. Instead, he proceeded to text me for five consecutive days, all of which I ignored. To make it extra clear he was being ghosted, I blocked him.
The next day, a text landed in my inbox: “You’re such a horrible person. I thought we connected. You’re not doing this to me. Btw, during the date, you had lipstick on your teeth the whole time.”
Just goes to show that even the briefest of coffee meets still has the potential to turn into a mega dating fail.
Read More: Team Sassy’s Favourite Lipsticks, Glosses & Tints For The Perfect Red Lip
Chivalry Isn’t Dead
Our first date was sweet enough, a picnic where we quickly clicked. I thought things were off to a good start, but things took a sharp turn the second time we met. I don’t like it when guys pay for my dinner; I prefer to split the bill 50/50. When I insisted on paying my share, it spiralled into a huge public blowout.
He launched into a speech about “stepping on the male ego” and how men wish to treat women because it makes them feel like, well, men. I responded, “I’m an independent woman who wants to pay her own way”. What began as a harmless conversation escalated into a heated shouting match. It turned into a bizarre battle of feminist versus chauvinist, thick with awkward tension. I’ve since learnt to be more accepting of such gestures — and that at the end of the day, men will be men.
Read More: Women Redefining Success In Hong Kong With Unconventional Careers
Perfect On Paper Only
While it was hard to tell if I was attracted to him because he looked different in every photo on his Bumble profile, he was super funny and seemed to have a great personality. Plus, he was a lawyer, so I figured my parents would approve. On paper, he was what I thought I wanted.
I was taken aback by how much shorter he was in real life, and it made me think he looked a bit cuboid in shape. I tried really hard to be attracted to him. Despite the beefcake surprise, we laughed a lot. At one point, he asked the waiter, “How do you think this date is going?” The waiter admitted he didn’t even realise we were on a date, which pretty much said it all. Trying to create a moment, I held his hand, but there was no spark. I hoped he would grow on me.
As if that weren’t bad enough, on our third date (can you tell how hard I tried to make it work?), the waitress asked if I was his girlfriend. He clarified deadpan, “No, it’s my sister”. I’ll never know if he was joking, but it wasn’t funny.
Still, it didn’t deter him from continuing to send me photos of himself. At first, I wondered, Why is he sending me pictures of a little short guy? Then it hit me — it was him. That was the last straw. I ghosted him. He messaged me once more at Christmas before blocking me on all platforms. When imagination versus reality are worlds apart, it often makes for a story you’d rather forget.
Read More: Hong Kong Dating Stories
Never Have I Ever
While I had an inkling he was a bit of a tryhard, I swiped right because I liked his photos. He was tall and stylish — if a little too polished, which seems to be common for local Hong Kong men. He had a slightly feminine vibe, and rocked one dangly earring that was so curated, it felt like something straight out of a K-pop star’s stylebook.
Our first date was over ramen. He was a few years younger than me, still lived at home and had meals cooked by his parents. The only thing that seemed off-brand to his look portrayed on Bumble was a wallet held together by Velcro, unaligned with his otherwise flawless style.
He plunged into a game of Never Have I Ever, where you take turns asking, “Never have I ever…?” and fill in the blank with your chosen scenario. The conversation turned to sex immediately which was off-putting. Through his questions, he wasted no time sharing that he had fallen asleep during sex before (unsure how this is a flex, but he found it hilarious).
Then came the weird part: he kept making me guess his answers. He asked how many people I’d slept with, and when I turned it around on him, he just kept saying, “Guess.” Everything was a game, a test. “What’s your pet peeve? Guess.” “What are you going to drink? Guess.” I wasn’t sure if he was testing my boundaries or rage-baiting me, but either way, it got old very quickly.
The whole thing felt like a weird power game and was such a turn-off. Some dates start with red flags—and this one was flapping like a warning banner from the get-go.
All images courtesy of Sassy Media Group.
